Merlin: The Wizard Who Let It All Go Down
Let’s get one thing straight—Merlin was not the all-knowing, all-powerful sage he’s been hyped up to be. Sure, he had some serious magic tricks up his sleeve, but when it came to keeping things in Camelot from going totally sideways? He basically checked out.
Merlin, as we know him, is the classic “wise old wizard” archetype, always delivering cryptic prophecies and advising kings who are way too busy with their own egos to actually listen to him. We’re talking about the guy who was supposed to mentor King Arthur and ensure his reign was successful—yet didn’t bother to step in when Arthur’s kingdom was being torn apart by betrayal and infidelity.
Merlin had his own messy personal life too. I mean, come on—how many wizards do you know who let their power be so easily manipulated by Morgana, Arthur’s half-sister? Not great, Merlin, not great. You would think a guy who could turn into a bird or an old woman (depending on his mood) would see all the danger right in front of him. But no, instead, Merlin was off galavanting in his own magical world while Camelot crumbled.
And don’t get me started on his big “prophecies.” Merlin was about as helpful as a weather forecast from the Dark Ages—vague and ultimately useless. His advice seemed great at first—save Arthur, build Camelot, be a wise mentor, blah blah blah—but when it came down to the actual execution, he didn’t pull it off. Arthur was betrayed, Camelot did fall, and all Merlin could do was shake his head and mutter something about fate.
The kicker? Merlin ended up fading into the shadows, leaving Camelot to collapse without his guidance. Classic, right? The wizard who was supposed to save the day basically just got caught up in his own mystique.
➡ The Takeaway
Merlin: the man who talked a good game but couldn’t play the field when it mattered. He was the wise wizard who failed to use his wisdom when it was desperately needed. So the next time someone offers you “wise advice” that doesn’t make any practical sense, think of Merlin—and run.
But don’t wander off too far! Our next rip involves Zeus’s wives—because let’s face it, Zeus was a serial cheater with a god-complex that made him a walking, talking mess. It’s gonna get messy, trust me.
