Hel: The Goth Queen of the Underworld
Oh, Hel—daughter of Loki, ruler of the dead, and quite possibly the original goth icon. While her brothers Jörmungandr and Fenrir were off causing chaos and doom, Hel carved out her own empire in Niflheim, the land of the dishonored dead. Think of it as Valhalla’s emo cousin—no warriors, no glory, just an eternity of brooding.
Let’s get one thing straight: Hel didn’t ask for this gig. Odin, in his infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), took one look at her half-living, half-dead visage and said, “You’re perfect for management,” before banishing her to the underworld. And like any reluctant leader, Hel made the most of it. She ruled over the dead with an iron fist—or maybe just a bored shrug—welcoming anyone who didn’t die heroically in battle.
Now, the real juice in Hel’s story comes with Ragnarok. See, she’s not just sitting on her throne crocheting death shrouds—oh no. She’s hoarding an undead army, waiting for her big moment to ride into battle against the gods. When the end times hit, Hel joins forces with her dad, Loki, because family reunions in Norse mythology are always a bloodbath.
But here’s the twist: Hel doesn’t actually do much during Ragnarok. Sure, her army shows up, but she herself stays pretty hands-off. It’s almost as if she’s saying, “Why bother? You’re all going to die anyway.” And honestly? She’s not wrong.
Let’s talk aesthetics. Hel’s split appearance—one side living, the other dead—is practically a metaphor for her role. She’s stuck between life and death, belonging fully to neither. It’s a tragic vibe, but also a bit of a power move. After all, who’s going to argue with someone rocking corpse chic while commanding an army of the dead?
➡ The Takeaway
Hel: the boss of the dishonored dead and the ultimate middle manager of misery. Her story is a stark reminder that sometimes, life (or death) hands you lemons, and instead of making lemonade, you build an empire of eternal gloom. Love her or fear her, you have to respect her commitment to the vibe.
Coming up in the Immortal Gazette: Freyr, the god of sunshine, fertility, and very bad decisions. Don’t miss it!
