Cupid: The Winged Menace with a Weapon Problem
Oh, Cupid! The cherubic little tyrant with wings and a bow, ruining lives one shot at a time. Everyone thinks he’s adorable, right? Wrong. Cupid is the original meddler-in-chief. Let me tell you, his whole schtick? A walking HR violation.
Here’s how it goes down: Cupid, or Eros if you’re feeling fancy, is the ancient god of love, son of Aphrodite (goddess of love) and, depending on the story, some guy who should’ve said “no thanks.” He’s got these golden arrows that make you fall in love and lead arrows that do the opposite. Sounds fun, right? Wrong again! This guy isn’t about spreading love—he’s about creating drama.
Now, let’s talk about his biggest mess: the story of Cupid and Psyche. Psyche, this mortal chick who was so beautiful, she made Aphrodite jealous. Yeah, that’s not a good start. Aphrodite, being the absolute diva she is, sent Cupid to make Psyche fall in love with some hideous creature. You know, as you do.
But plot twist: Cupid accidentally pricked himself with his own arrow. Facepalm. You’re telling me the god of love doesn’t have basic weapon safety training? Anyway, now he’s head over wings for Psyche and starts sneaking around like some lovesick teenager. He even sets her up in this fancy palace and visits her every night, but here’s the catch—she’s not allowed to see his face. What is this, a romance or a bad reality show?
Of course, Psyche’s nosy sisters show up and convince her Cupid must be some hideous monster. So, what does she do? She grabs a lamp and sneaks a peek at him while he’s sleeping. Turns out he’s a total hottie, but whoops! She spills hot oil on him and wakes him up. He freaks out and flies off because nothing says “healthy relationship” like complete mistrust and third-degree burns.
Now begins Psyche’s epic guilt trip-slash-quest to win him back. Aphrodite, still salty, gives Psyche impossible tasks to complete, like sorting an entire barn full of grain (thanks, ants), stealing golden fleece (ouch), and fetching water from a deadly river (casual). Psyche manages it all, because apparently being mortal also makes you the goddess of determination.
In the end, Zeus steps in—because why not?—and makes Psyche immortal so she and Cupid can be together. Aww, happy ending, right? Sure, if you ignore the emotional manipulation, questionable parenting, and absolute lack of boundaries.
➡ The Takeaway
So, what’s the real lesson here? Maybe don’t trust winged toddlers with weapons, and for love’s sake, read the fine print on your relationships. Cupid might look cute, but trust me, he’s one misfired arrow away from making you fall for a lamppost.
