Hades The King of the Underworld | 4EverMore | Immortal Gazette
Ah, Hades. The King of the Underworld. The god of death and all things dark and gloomy. You’d think a guy who runs an entire afterlife would be a little more put together, right? Wrong.
Hades is the original “grumpy old man” of Greek mythology, but with way more power—and let’s not forget the swanky palace he’s got going down there. Sure, he’s got a killer real estate deal with that underworld domain of his, but it’s still a sad, cold, dark place. I mean, c’mon, even Hell has its perks—at least they have fire. Hades? He’s got a bunch of shadows and some whining souls that just won’t quit.
You want to know what Hades’ real problem is? The man’s got control issues. First, he kidnaps Persephone, the goddess of spring, who had a perfectly lovely life above ground. But nope, good ol’ Hades just couldn’t handle a little peace and quiet, so he pulls the classic "I’m going to steal you away to the Underworld because I don’t know how to communicate like a normal person". Classic move, right? Oh, and don’t forget his charming move of locking her up in a cave with nothing to do but eat pomegranate seeds. Because nothing says, "I love you" like removing all her choices and forcing her to eat fruit.
But wait, Hades doesn’t stop there. Oh no, not our beloved moody god. He’s got a long list of gripes, and trust me, they’re all just excuses for him being an absolute mess. For instance, he’s constantly complaining about his job. Yeah, buddy, you’re the King of the Dead. Sure, it’s a pretty grim gig, but guess what? You’re the one who chose it! What did you think, running the Underworld would be a fun little side hustle while you chill on Mount Olympus? The guy’s got unlimited power, but all he does is grumble about it.
Now let’s talk about his fashion sense, shall we? Hades, the god of the Underworld, and his whole vibe screams "I’m misunderstood and I want to look like a moody teenager who got grounded." His all-black attire? Cringe. You’re a god, man— a god! Why do you look like you’re on your way to a goth concert that no one invited you to? And that helmet of invisibility? Sure, it helps you sneak around, but if you ask me, it just says, "I’m insecure, and I don’t want people to see me in my true form." We get it, Hades. You’re into the whole ‘I’m an edgy loner’ thing, but there’s no need to constantly remind us by pulling the whole "I’m invisible" stunt.
And let’s not forget about his relationship with his brother Zeus. Zeus is all about "I'm the King, and I’m in charge of everything," while Hades is over there sulking in his Underworld. Oh sure, Hades is the “ruler of the dead,” but Zeus is the flashy one who gets all the love. You can practically hear Hades muttering in the corner like “No one appreciates me, I’m a god too, you know!" Get over it, Hades. You took the gloomy job; now you gotta live with it. No one’s gonna throw you a party just because you’re angry and brooding.
Honestly, I can’t even tell if Hades wants power or if he just wants to whine about it. Make up your mind, buddy. Does he want to be the ruler of the Underworld? Or does he just want to sit in his dark corner with his skeleton crew and pout about how much life sucks? At least he’s got Persephone around to spice things up, but who knows how that’s going now that they’re stuck in a relationship dynamic that even I wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole.
So, next time you’re thinking about feeling sorry for Hades, just remember that he chose this. And he loves playing the victim card. Meanwhile, Zeus is off having his 10,000th affair, and Hades is stuck in his dark, brooding cave, wondering why no one’s giving him the attention he so desperately craves.
Now, enough about him. Thor’s up next, and I can already feel the chaos brewing. Buckle up mortal it's gonna be a wild ride!
