King Midas: The Man with the Golden Touch (and a Lot of Regrets)
Ah, King Midas it is! Gather 'round, mortals and immortals alike, as Rumplestiltskin, Alice the Mad Mad Queen, and Loki take turns shredding the tale of the man who wished for too much and got exactly what he deserved—golden misery.
Rumplestiltskin Starts The Story:
"Ah, King Midas, the man with the golden touch—literally. Now, let me spin this yarn of greed and glory gone wrong. Midas, in all his royal wisdom—or lack thereof—decides that turning everything he touches into gold is the key to eternal happiness. And who grants this wish? A god, naturally, because when has divine intervention ever gone smoothly?
So, there’s Midas, prancing around, turning trees, chairs, and probably even his bedposts into gold. I imagine he was having a grand old time until reality smacked him right in his gilded face. The fool forgot that food and water are also things you touch, and last I checked, you can’t live off a diet of solid gold apples! And let’s not forget his daughter, who, in a tragic twist, becomes a golden statue in his arms. Talk about a wake-up call.
What did Midas learn? Well, nothing initially. He begged for the curse to be lifted, and when it was, you’d think he’d appreciate the simpler things in life. But no, Midas still had that itch for riches. Some folks never learn, eh?"
➡ The Takeaway
Be careful what you wish for, or you might just get it—and then regret it!
Alice’s Opinion:
"Oh, darlings, let’s talk about King Midas and his rather unfortunate penchant for shiny things. This little king was simply obsessed with gold. I mean, who wouldn’t want a golden toilet, right? But our dear Midas takes it a step too far.
Now, here’s where the story goes from a glittering dream to a dazzling disaster. Imagine reaching for a juicy peach only to turn it into an inedible lump of metal. And let’s not even start on the poor daughter! One hug and poof, she’s a statue. Midas might as well have turned himself into a hermit right then and there.
In the end, he’s forced to wash away his golden touch in a river, which, I imagine, became the first ever gold-infused spa treatment. Midas went from having the golden touch to literally throwing his wish down the drain. Mad, isn’t it?"
➡ The Takeaway
Greed will gild your downfall, darlings. Sometimes less really is more!
Loki’s Opinion:
"Hah! King Midas, the fool who thought gold was the answer to all his problems. If I had a nickel for every time a mortal made a wish without thinking it through, I’d have a hoard bigger than Odin’s!
Midas wanted everything he touched to turn to gold, and for a hot minute, he was the envy of every king in the land. But here’s the kicker—he couldn’t eat, couldn’t drink, and worst of all, he couldn’t touch his loved ones without turning them into golden relics. What a moron!
And the best part? He didn’t even learn from it. Even after being rid of the curse, he continued to chase after wealth. What’s that saying? Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice… well, Midas was fooled thrice over. I almost admire his stubborn stupidity."
➡ The Takeaway
When chasing after riches, don’t lose sight of what really matters—or you’ll end up like Midas, with nothing but a cold, golden legacy.
